The Jaane Tu... Ya Jaane Na Syndrome

I like the works of Abbas Tyrewala. Some of the scripts he wrote deserve to be tagged with words like 'fabulous' and 'fantastic'. His directorial debut was not disappointing largely. But I have been experiencing some, in fact a lot of, trouble because of the friendship-love oscillations that he depicted in this movie.

For the uninitiated, Jaane Tu... Ya Jaane Na is Abbas Tyrewala's first work with the megaphone. The film revolves around Jay and Aditi, two happy-go-lucky college-goers who are "best friends". To put it plainly, they can't stay away from each other and more often than not, are seen hugging or holding hands, but declare that they do not see each other as lovers. One cannot help but question if they are friends or making an attempt to portray an open relationship. I say that because you cannot miss sexual chemistry between the two. For the naive, hypocritically unsuspecting movie-watcher they may come off as friends, but not to me.

Taking the story on a fast forward, they decide to look for spouses and end up realizing that they love each other! The movie ends but leaves this ridiculous germ in the air that if you are best friends with a member of the opposite sex, you are not friends. You are cover lovers and one day you'll realize that love. There's more: if you don't realize it now you might be late. So even if you have no such feelings for your friend, the collective insistence plunges you into self-doubt: is it so? did I not realize my own feelings? Even then, it's understandable till here.

Now the spiral: what if the person you actually, knowingly, voluntarily and sub-consciously love tell you that you actually love your friend? Phew! That's a sinking feeling. Cry yourself hoarse to convince but you won't find any cookies. And to top it all, you are given the example of Jaane Tu...! It couldn't get worse.

All equations of similar relationships are not the same. Your relationship with all your friends is not the same, even your equation with your ex and your present are different. Even if we suspend our disbelief to a rather unfortunate extent and accept the movie as a dogma about love masquerading as friendship, it just cannot be accepted that because the protagonists in the movie couldn't realize their love for each other, we become doubting Thomases, suspecting every one to have a love, deep down somewhere, lying neglected and untapped, for their best friend, if they happen to be of the opposite sex. We know our personal equations and relationships and we must not take these attempts to make 'different' cinema too seriously. For God's sake, will people decide you are in love or not?!

Opposites Attract?

Love pundits, if there can be any, are of the opinion that opposites attract. We have heard it repeated many a time and we have come to believe in it in some way. Yes, there are examples of couples who are diametrically opposite to each other in mood and temperament but are in deep love. These examples have taken this theory beyond the scope of questions. We are conditioned to believe it and nod our heads in acceptance. But is it really so? Do opposites really attract?

To explain the exception to a rule, we need to study the rule first. Opposites attract. Yes, they do. When people of different characteristic traits meet, they tend to find, in the other, qualities which are lacking in themselves. As an example, an introvert guy likes an extrovert girl because she makes her see the other side of the coin which he has always wanted to see, but could not. She fits into the jigsaw perfectly as the missing link. With her, he feels that he can get out of his own shell and they arrive at a point where they meet midway. And love blooms.

What if the guy doesn’t want to get out of his shell? What if he wants a partner who’ll fit cozily in his shell and make his world complete? That is when likes attract him, not opposites. That is when you want someone after your own heart and not someone who’ll challenge your boundaries. Stretching the limit is great, but that is again an individual choice.

If your world is full of books, music and movies, you might not like someone to come in and replace your movie DVDs with sports videos. You’d want someone who’ll help you nurture your passion because s/he has a keen interest in the same pursuits. That is when you’ll feel that your life is complete and not the other way round. This is what I feel. Leave me your two cents.